Benteng

Kadang aku kesal,
tembok tinggi di sekelilingku,
nutupin pandangan!

Tapi toh aku juga suka,
hanya sedikit angin yang menerpa masuk tanpa permisi.

dmv // July, 2018

Ruang

Padahal di suatu ruang,
Ada celah bebas dua-puluh-empat jam,
Di sana ada aku,
Tenggelam sedalam-dalamnya

—ada juga kamu, mengapung tak tentu arahnya.

dmv 23/06/18 01.18 a.m.

Distraksi

Kupu-kupu cepat pergi

Cepat lari, cepat jauh

Rasanya terlalu dalam

Kupu-kupu tak mau pergi

Kenapa semakin lekat?

Jangan lekat, jangan dekat

Kupu-kupu tak jua pergi

Kalaunya ingin tetap

Tolong jangan mendesak

-dmv, 21/10/18, 19:55

Ego

Mari turunkan ego sedikit,

Sedikit saja,

Sedikit lagi,

Sampai hilang tanpa tuan.

—kalau yang kamu cari kebahagiaan, tolong turunkan egomu.

Shall Thee?

Please do come here,

O fairy godmother!

I’m on the edge of killing myself,

Shall thee ought to watch and see?

—i don’t care how you get here, get here if you can.

Hitam

Hitamku kian setia

Temani bayang yang tak hilang-hilang

Sebentar..

Sebentar lagi..

“Sana menghilang!”

Malah melekatlah ia

Hhh

Semoga pagi tepat waktu

22.10.18 // 01.48
-dmv

Intrepid #3

One time, she's curious
She search all the way long
Of an answer has long to be answered
Then it answers so sudden that she doesn't know what to do
And she runs
And runs
And runs
And runs

  —  When love has come, it comes 
            with all the consequences  — 

dmv

02.04 a.m.

Singgah

Lewatnya sekali, tak kasat mata

Lewatnya kedua, aku diam

Lain-lain, sekali dua kali

Ia bertanya, aku meragu

Datang ke sini, bawa ke mari

Singgahnya ia, tenangnya aku

Harapku jangan ia tetap

12.42 a.m.

-dmv

CATATAN PERJALANAN: *Sunflowerss*

Kebun bunga matahari malah nemu di Bandung

Udah lama gue pingin wisata alam terutama ke kebun bunga matahari karena kecintaan gue dengan warna kuning sampe bunga warna kuning pun gue cinta. Kebetulan di Jogja ada kebun bunga matahari yang lagi hits-hitsnya didatangi pengunjung dari berbagai penjuru dan berhubung gue kuliah di Jogja, kebun bunga matahari itu sebenernya bisa gue raih sekitar 30 menit—1 jam naik motor dari kontrakan gue. 

TAPI, semenjak semester gue semakin naik dan beban kuliahnya semakin menguras energi jiwa dan raga, mau explore-explorean kayak semester 1 dulu abis praktikum langsung cus ke hutan pinus dll kok rasanya capeeek banget gitu mikirnya hahaha. Padahal seharusnya umur-umur segini tuh banyak jalan-jalannya malah, tapi semakin lama gue kuliah semakin capek mau apa-apa. Misal libur seminggu pun (ini agak impossible) akan gue habiskan dengan tidur-tiduran dan streaming Youtube dan baca novel, ke luar mager.

Sekarang lagi libur semester dan selesai ujian langsung cus pergi dari Jogja sebelum sempet explore-explore cantik ke wisata alam yang makin banyak dan bervariasi dalam setahun terakhir. Dari akhir Juni kemarin, gue ke Bandung nemenin kakak gue sidang skripsi, dan karena di hometown gue (re: Lampung) gue gak ada kerjaan, yaudah gue lamain di Bandung.

Hari ini, gue ke Paris Van Java padahal baru kemarin malem ke sini juga nonton Hereditary. Dan karena gue tau lagi ada kebun bunga matahari di Sky Levelnya langsung lah gue ke sini karena mumpung terang kan, jadinya keliatan cantik kuningnya. Tiket masuk ke sini Rp10.000,00/orang oke lah cukup worth it buat gue yang emang udah kepingin dari lama ke kebun bunga matahari gini. Daaan begitu pemandangan kuning-kuning tiba di mata gue langsung auto-lucu banget! dong gue. Rasanya pingin gue pindahin ke taman rumah gue hahaha. Gue udah dari lama nyoba nanem bunga matahari di rumah tapi belom tumbuh mekar gitu tiba-tiba mati. Sekarang lagi nyoba nanem lagi tapi belom tumbuh, kita tunggu aja hasilnya, semoga bakal cantik kayak gini juga!

So pretty!

To The Girl I Was Then

To the girl I was then,

Stay young and stay foolish for it will only become a moment in your life.

To the girl I was then,

Cry your heart out for it will be the prove you atleast once had your heart feeling feelings.

What I have just realized is that I couldn’t just simply become the girl I was then; dreaming nonchalantly without taking so much fuss about what brings tomorrow.

What I have just realized is how the moments have passed many times and I’ve also went stable (mentally & mindly) throughout those years—by facing countless shits.

What I also realize is that I have too many chances,

too many good positive surroundings, 

to ever feel like there won’t be shining tomorrow.

Happy 20. 

-dmv

Senja, Katanya

"Ungu dari mana, hitam gini kok!" 
serunya pada hari Jumat itu.

Di luar pagar rendah berwarna merah tak jauh dari tempat kami berdiri, riuh lalu lalang sepeda motor saling berlomba dan tak mau mengalah.
Tak mau kalah, sunyi kami pun ikut menggema pada hari Jumat itu sebelum ia memutuskan untuk mengalah pada sunyi.

Aku lalu tersenyum.

"Kamu cantik kalau tersenyum"

Aku tersenyum lagi.

Selang beberapa kesunyian yang menggema kembali, aku pun memutuskan berjalan keluar pagar.

Beberapa langkah, aku mendongak melihat langit senja kala itu yang berwarna manis.

Dan tak lupa menoleh ke belakang melihat pagar rendah berwarna merah dan dengan hanya bebatuan yang mengisi hampanya tempat itu.

-dmv

Cliche

"Set your dreams, have your life figured out," they say,
as I sit here wondering why the sky would go striking orange.

"Grow up, act like your age," they say,
as I roll and tearing myself up because of laughing too much on my favorite TV show.

"I wanna be happy," I say.
—a small dream is a dream too.

Intrepid #2

"No, this isn't you," she said, as she looks at her fiery eyes reflection from the mirror.
Then one second, the look in her eyes become empty -- the kind of emptiness as if anything in the world has lost its ability to make her happy.
She's been through a lot. The world has crushed her passions, her ability to feel happy, her self. She blame the world for it. She thinks the world owe her something.

"1..2..3.." she counts the ticking on the clock as she breaths hardly and eyes-closed.
"4..5..6.." she keeps counting and counting and counting.

Suddenly, her eyes are wide open. The fiery look came back. But now there's a bit of determination glare comes from that fiery tiny eyes.

"This isn't you," she said looking to herself at the mirror.
"I'm going to make you so proud from now on."

01.15 a.m.

-dmv

Secangkir Teh dan Mi Godog

Secangkir teh dan mi godog malam itu
Ada yang baru di pintu malam itu
Ada yang hilang ditutup keranda itu
Ada yang nyata di udara malam itu
Ada yang lekat di secangkir teh dan mi godog malam itu

-dmv

Di Taman Belakang

 Di taman belakang ada cerita,

Ditatapnya jatuh ke pangkuan bumi

Di taman belakang ada cerita,

Diberinya kemari dan dibuainya lari

Di taman belakang ada cerita,

Direlakannya mentari dirundung kelabu

(D.M.V)

loc: taman belakang rumahku,

photos were taken & edited by me.

The Sum of 2017

(my version of best feeling of 2017)

So apparently, I got nothing to say nor nothing to do to welcome the ‘happy new year 2018’, but reminiscing the good old (well, it hasn’t been a day yet so) 2017 happen to be a decent idea (or I thought it would be so)

2017, where should I start?

Januari 2017 —well I’m all about college-student mode, jadi yang gue pikirin salah satunya adalah “udah semester 2, udah ngapain aja sejauh ini? terus mau ngapain nanti?” and to be honest, i got no plan nor any sight what step that I’ll take next. As for me, adjusting life to college is hard, so if you’re feeling the same, you must know the stumble-and-fall feeling while you’re in college. And that’s why I should’ve make a plan or a sight of what I would do next to keep myself from falling, you know? But I didn’t (Little that I know, I wish I had made one because the second semester was as bad as the first one). The first semester has knock me off much, so the holiday I spent, I spent more on sleeping.

The third semester was better, or I just felt so. Things were messy, but not as messy as before (and this is my perception of ‘better’). I saw things, I went to places, I experienced things. Things still were new for me, but I got the rhythm and I paced as fast.

2017 is my first-time-everything-year, and by far my most valuable year since I had much new experience (and it gets me a lot of new thoughts).

2017, I took big decisions, I took risky path. Until this far I don’t regret any of it for it makes me I am.

2017, I built bridges, I burnt bridges. I learned some things are worth to fight for, while some not.

2017, I learned to get to work my ass off to achieve something rather than wait for another luck to come by.

2017, I learned to accept things, to love what I do (for I’ll do it for the rest of my life).

2017, I learned the joy of friendship, the quality of it, the beauty of it. I pass many friendship-related problems this year than I had in my life, so I’ve learned the teary-eyes way that friendship has beauty in it if you don’t let your ego come the way.

So, at the age of 19, I would like to say thank you for anyone and any circumstances to make things possible for me to experience, for the laughter and tears I break, for making me I am at age of 19.

Cheers to more years to come, for I’ll have to cherish it my way.